Mordbereitschaftsdienst

New Woman New Lifestyle

2007-03-20T12:57:00.000-07:00

I have ALWAYS wanted to kayak - in Idaho it was hard-core whitewater folks - ugh - I went rafting down the Payette once and hit a hole in the rapids 8 feet over and that did it for me -
I want the nice quiet tooling around birdwatching, camping type stuff -

Does anyone know if I can buy a touring kayak that will work both on the river and sea (if I can get over my fear of sharks!)

I have been looking at kayaks and would like some local info before I go to the store -

Information Requested

2007-02-20T12:39:00.000-08:00

I am interested in watching more football next season.
More NFL games (ie all Packers and Chargers games) and I would like to watch some college games as well.
I would like some folks to recommend the best way to get started.
Whether it's NFL Network or ESPN yada yada - a satellite or big screen.
I don't know where to begin - I need to upgrade from a 4" b&w to start!!!!

It's hard to bear the season when it is over - does anyone else feel my pain?

Power Rankings

2007-02-15T06:49:00.000-08:00

I have been reading the message boards and the majority of the folks have next years playoff rankings basically the same as this years with a few minor adjustments -
I hate to tell these guys but there are going to be several teams that will shoot those rankings out of the water.

These are my surprise teams:

Green Bay Packers (the biggest surprise)
San Franscisco 49ers
Tennessee Titans
Jacksonville Jags
Denver Broncos
Arizona Cardinals (new coaches)

These teams fall by the wayside 2007 -

Philadelphia Eagles
Seattle Seahawks
Baltimore Ravens (what happened to the O?)
New Orleans Saints
Pittsburgh Steelers (coach changes)
San Diego Chargers (unfortunate GM problems)
Cincinnati Bengals
Kansas City Chiefs

Another SB for the Colts? - you got to be kidding - I predict "maybe" 1 playoff game - they are going to lose some key players -

I would be curious to hear other folks predictions -

I mean I'll probably end up being way off base but it's fun anyway----

Go Packers! Go Jags!

I have always been a huge Packer Fan! Since the Bart Starr and Donnie Anderson days!

What were the Chargers thinking?

2007-02-14T09:17:00.000-08:00

I think their timing was terrible - poor Marty - I bet they end up with Norv Turner - good luck getting a playoff spot next year!

Oh - and would someone please explain the draft to me?

Chicago Bears and Beer Brats

2007-02-01T06:23:00.000-08:00

Yipee!
It will be Superbowl Sunday at our house this weekend as we watch the BIG GAME on our 4" b&w tv.
To celebrate the Bears we have on the menu Brats with all the trimmings.
I hope the Bears win. Indy is the clear favorite. Grossman has been so ripped on by the media all season that I hope he has an incredible performance - he could you know!
I like underdogs! It seems that in all of the playoff games the underdog only won once and that was the Balt/Indy game - (I think this is correct) -
I can't stand Indy - from Polian - to the "piped-in" crown noise - to the thermostat being cranked up to 85 degrees in the Pats game - to the ref's and favored play calls !!!!!! oh and plus I am sick of the Manning commercials -
I like the Bears - they are a good old fashioned team from a blue collar city -
So cheers - and good luck to 'Da Bears'

Sileni/Lunacy by Jan Svankmajer

2007-01-25T09:30:00.000-08:00

I have been obsessed with Svankmajer's films for a couple of years - since I saw Faust -
I just received it Monday after putting my name on a list at Zeitgeist to have it as soon as it became available in the U.S.

Tuesday it was so cold and dreary and I was already depressed about my art projects when I decided to take to the bed and watch it - I was going to wait until Friday night to watch it with Manfred - but I didn't - it was better to have watched this one alone -

It was a cross between Poe and deSade - well, I studied alot of deSade in college and also created some art pieces with his inspiration so I knew what I would be "in-for"!!!! Poe wasn't used much in the movie at all except for the idea of the premature burial -

The movie had a worse influence on me than any other I have ever seen - I have been very SAD - for days -

The premise to me is that "ART IS DEAD/ART IS SHIT" -

I know that - but it is still nice to have a Utopian vision -

Once art became a commodity - (thanks to Warhol with his Wal-Mart notion) - that was the end - it has been going downhill since the '60's!!!!!

Svankmajer is extrememly political and very rebellious - I relate to his ideas and views very much -
I am sad that he also lost is creative director and life-long partner Eva - she was such a heavy influence on his films and I think she did the majority of the parts I like best in his films (the book in Otik, the card game in Lunacy, etc)

I am sad because this movie was so final - I feel that it was his way of saying "this is what the audience wants - this is what they get ---- SHIT----THE END----- I am sad because I don't think he will do another film - he doesn't like creating mainstream art to get distribution - I wouldn't either -

It will take some time before the effect wears off - I prefer emotional movies - this one, left no evidence of hope - usually that doesn't bother me - but this one does because it is about art -

Boy did I mess up!!!

2007-01-16T11:39:00.000-08:00

Gosh - wild card weekend I went 4 - 0 - divisional weekend I was 1 -3!!!!
I figured there would be major upsets - I was wrong !!!!
I am burned out!!!! Too much football! If it weren't for Tom Brady I would stop now - the chance of watching him play 1 more game!

Okay, so now the feel-good SB - Colts vs. Saints cuz "Daddy" went there?
That's sickening - it's all media hype - so how do they fix these games - with media pounding?
Apparently the media hates Chicago - been there - they hate Jax too!!!

It's all about Glamour -

Divisional Playoff Pics

2007-01-10T05:48:00.000-08:00

Oh my God......Stop the Presses.........Jake Plummer to Jax......are you kidding?
I don't like the looks of his stats - in all but 2 seasons of his 10 has he had more TDs than Ints - better he replaces Carr in Houston - I want Jeff Garcia

Seahawks vs. Bears (upset)
Bears had a cakewalk schedule - Hawks have major injuries but "bad" Rex will show

Ravens vs. Colts
Major rivalry going here - no contest - Ravens' D rocks - KC failed to turn points on Manning's 3 Ints - Ravens won't miss those opps.

Chargers vs. Patriots
Sorry Randy - Rivers is no match for Brady with 3 SB's in his pocket - Pats have LT's #.
The Pats are a slick team to watch (so smooth) - Tom Brady is "hot"!!!! Also, I think we'll see the return of "MartyBall" by the 3rd qtr.

Eagles vs. Saints (upset)
I predicted the Saints at week 1 to be the winner of SB because of the "feel-good" and the Saints will probably go but I like how Garcia stepped up as underdog and like the Steelers in '05 Eagles will win the NFC title.

Quarterback Controversy?

2007-01-03T10:18:00.000-08:00

If McNabb comes back next season from injuries -
Can we get Jeff Garcia?

Jags vs. Patriots

2006-12-22T09:46:00.000-08:00

I just don't know -
Freddie will probably be out and I haven't seen enough Toefield to wager....
Last weeks performance by Garrard was appalling - trying to make big plays everytime killed us!
And you know the Pats are going to try and force Garrard to throw the ball like the Titans did and look what happened - we gave the game away, AGAIN!
On the good side - Brady's break-up and his shoulder might affect his game - also, they have as many injuries as we do so. But, we only beat the Patiorots once - in 1998!!!! eeeeek!
Garrard seems to get spooked everytime Freddie goes out though - so this will be the decision-clincher for me - Patriots 24 Jags 10.
It really makes me angry that the Jets will probably get a wildcard spot - I had already written the Broncos off but it looks like Cutler may be coming back - I would rather see the Bengals get it but they have a tougher schedule than Denver - it should be based on strength of schedule -
Predicting Super Bowl will be Baltimore and Saints (or god forbid Cowboys) though the muckie muck with T.O. and Garcia I would like to see the Eagles pull through on a long shot - I am a poor sport - I really would have like to have seen the Jags make it to the playoffs this year!!!

Tell me they still have a chance...................................

Jags vs. Titans

2006-12-12T12:34:00.000-08:00

Tennessee has come from 0-5 this season and not to say they had the toughest schedule in the AFC. Vince Young is hot right now - it is going to be a tough match-up on Sunday even tougher because it's on their turf. They are looking to knock the Jags out of play-off contention and out of the second place division spot - of course I am going with the Jags but it is going to get bloody on Sunday - mark my words ---- on another note - I am so glad the Saints brought the Cowboy's and their shining star down a notch - the hype was getting to be sickening....I'm also bummed about the Michigan thing too but oh, well!!! At least now everyone knows the Colts are overrated - when is it going to happen to the Bears - look at their schedule ... need I say more? I think it will be Baltimore and who? I am not impressed with the Chargers and I can't admit to liking the Saints though it is starting to look like Baltimore and the Saints will go to the Bowl this year tho with Chicago's cake -walk they might make it.....there just aren't enough good teams in the NFC..........

Go Jags -

Ed Wood is NOT the worst director of all time!

2006-12-04T09:33:00.000-08:00

Russ Meyer is! Ok, and Roger Ebert is a BLOODY PIG~!!!!! I always respected him too - not after viewing "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" - this has got to be one of the WORST MOVIES EVER MADE!!!!
What a piece of trash - I thought "Glen or Glenda" was bad (it was so abstract it was good) but this movie is just an excuse to see a BUNCH of TEETS!!!! I never saw so many bouncing (and not bouncing) bewbs in my life!!!!! Come on Manfred, ART FILM? You poor infantile males - the gun-in-mouth scene absolutely infuriated me - I abhor violence to women - if a director has to rely on T's & A's to make his film it's not to be taken seriously. This is what caused the demise of Hammer Films. It is just a poor excuse for some pathetic director to get to women who he normally wouldn't stand a chance with - Manfred, I am thoroughly disgusted ----- Thank god, Cocteau's "Orpehus" and Wenders "American Friend" saved me from having serious nightmares on Saturday night........Molly Haskell where are you on this film?

- a furious/ferocious feminist!!!

Holiday Cheer

2006-11-21T09:48:00.000-08:00

Just to wish everyone a great holiday - this is the best I've had in YEARS!!!!

I am excited this holiday - and it's all about eating and the fact we won against the Giants (go jags)!!!

Thursday is Manfred's moms birthday - they are grilling steaks and Friday we are celebrating at our house with a turkey and TONS of food - I have been planning all month and it's getting down to the wire - I got her a Le Creuset grill pan from W.S. in Dijon to match her kitchen - I hope she likes it cuz I wanted it for myself!!!!!

So, with X-mas coming and Manfred's fathers birthday is at X-mas too - I want to plan 3 more days of feasting - a goose, a glazed ham and for him a rack of lamb (which I made for him when he got out of the hospital from heart surgery - he ate supper at our house in his pajamas) -

Eating is what it is all about - and I am very happy these days!!!!

And let's not talk about resolutions so soon!!!!!

Happy Eating to all "You Good Folks and Many Blessings" -

Count Down to Thanksgiving

2006-11-14T14:46:00.000-08:00

The Rush is on - I am so excited I am cooking this year - I've been planning for more than a month -

The last time I cooked was 5 years ago - I bombed EVERYTHING!!! The worst meal I ever cooked (outside of the jellied tongue - yuck!)

Manfred's folks are giving me ONE MORE try - so wish me luck - it means alot to me to pull this off - THIS TIME -

It is my favorite holiday of the year - I don't need it but I sure hope this holiday is spent eating and eating and eating!!!!!!!!

Leftwich Leaving the Jags?

2006-11-10T10:17:00.000-08:00

Viewing the quarterback controversy/conspiracy I went to NFL.com and read the article by Freeman that states - inside the Jags, Leftwich is certain to leave the Jags - go to the Redskins - and replace Brunnell - how odd - we can't get anyone here to make a commitment one-way-or-another!!!

Urban Utopias

2006-10-27T09:26:00.000-07:00

My Urban Utopias photographic series is almost complete.........

For the past year I have been out taking pictures for a body of work to be exhibited in galleries and what-not..........I have probably shot over 1,000 negatives...contact printed, proof printed and edited the series down to 25 pieces....yes, I over-edit but I have always been EXTREMELY critical and will not allow sloppy work to go out - period - and I don't accept second best - there will be plenty of that left over in boxes that will show up in an estate sale (or garbage) at my death (which are known as seconds - that is another issue) - I know how these things work - anyway - all of the selected prints have be printed in a series of 5 -10 each (some artists will do 250 - 500) but I am always thinking about my next project and don't see the point in mass production - that's reserved for the Jeff Koon's of the world - I number mine up to 10 (with the potential there) but in reality I only print 5. So now I have 100 prints that have to be spot-toned (which I do not enjoy), matted, mounted and framed and crates built for shipping.......I have bought a majority of the supplies - except a dry mount press which is around 1400$ - (there is controversy surrounding dry-mounting but galleries want it that way) ----- busy work - at this point I wish I had an assistant so I could proceed to my next project ---- also there are several magazine publications that accept unsolicited work :ie Lenswork, B&W Mag, Focus, Afterimage, Contact Sheet, and Camera Work . I have exhibited for many years starting in 1989 - there are tons of galleries calling for entries. See Art Calendar, Art List, Art News, etc for listings. They are especially under represented by women artists and are begging women to submit....

I am anxious also to start painting again - I painted/designed heavily from 1987 - 1996, 1997 - 1998 (see strategies page on website for example) I started one in 2003 of dancers but didn't feel it had the political and psychological impact of my previous work so I set it aside -

So many ideas - so little time ------ it's all exciting -----

No Effort

2006-10-24T10:27:00.000-07:00

I know....I know.....I have issues...it's hard to support a losing team...hey - believe it or not I was an athlete in high school......and IT'S ALL ABOUT WINNING!!!!!! Period......

They didn't even put any effort into the game...whether it was Taylor's contract issue, the injuries or Leftwich's ankle or fear he would be replaced by Garrard (his contract is up 2007) something had those guys spooked!!!! Our hopes for a spot in the playoffs looks VERY far off - non-existant -

My main problem is---look, I make a mere pitance (scraps) compared to these guys - they are paid too much to make mistakes -- I can't make a mistake and keep my job, nor could most folks I know - that's the bottom line ----- it reminds me of the Brunnel days when the pressure was on him to win (offensively) and he would all of a sudden get a pain somewhere and let the backup take over - remember that? it was a common occurence under pressure - I hope this is not starting to happen with Leftwich now that the job is on him to carry the game - due to defensive injuries --- somehow I feel it ----- I hate to see these whimps acting as touch guys!!!!! ok - I am ready for the criticism!!!!!

Also to note - I read somewhere that Haliburton sponsored the Houston game and the Bush's were there ------ makes us conspiracy folks wonder ---------

Bears vs. Patriots

2006-10-16T10:25:00.000-07:00

My predictions for this year's Superbowl -

Indianapolis will start to go down - they've had an easy season and from here on it will be tough for them - of course we need to win our next 3 games - we can still win the division - we need to beat the Eagles - it will be difficult for us on their turf - they lost to both the Giants and the Saints - it will start to get tough for them for the rest of the season.

Chicago and New England have easy schedules the entire season - tonight they play Arizona who they lost to in pre-season - maybe it doesn't count to most but it does to me - the Patriots lost to Denver - the most difficult game of their season - of course they still play the Jags - I predict we will lose that game 10-21. Chicago is mostly playing losing teams Seattle being the toughest one, New England and St. Louis are the 3 challenging ones for the Bears.

Indy lost 3 of 4 pre-season games all to tough teams - so far the Jags were the toughest team of their season - all wins were struggles against losing teams - their season gets rough from here on in - I am predicting to see 4 to 5 losses for them including a loss to the Jags.

Baltimore beat the first 3 easy teams and lost to Denver and Carolina - the rest of their season is relatively easy - may lose at New Orleans. The Saints have had an easy starter losing only to Carolina - All games were close. Their season is about to get tough - I predict losses to the Ravens, the Cowboys, Falcons and a second loss to the Panthers for the Saints.

I strongly dislike Denver so I don't even consider them, also Seattle, St. Louis or San Diego - whatever happens with those teams happens.

I'm still hoping the Jags can pull through with the injury losses of both Hayward and Peterson. Predicting wins against the Texans (twice) possibly a loss to the Eagles (we struggle from home) - wins against the Titans - possibly a loss to the Giants only because Coughlin will stick it to us - though the Giants could go either way - wins against the Bills, Dolphins and the Chiefs - though anything can happen - a loss to New England. The Colts will be coming down here beat up by several losses and will lose to the Jags- - Jags probably finishing 11-5 hopefully 12-4....

In the next 2 weeks there will start to be alot of upsets and several teams will begin to go down - Cincinnati and Indianapolis to begin.

I love the Bears and would love to see them in the Big Game - not the Saints - being politcally incorrect - I'm sick of the hype - don't think the Jags will make it this year - we already gave up 2 games we should have won - that we needed to get to the playoffs-

Bears and Patriots it is...........

Trivia

2006-09-28T11:47:00.000-07:00

Yup ---- Manfred's is off to trivia tonight - he's going to miss out on my specialty
Liver and Onions!!!!!
Recipe comes all the way from the world famous Harry's Bar in New York - You Lose!!!

Darkroom Bliss

2006-09-26T08:39:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhhh - it's good to get back into the darkroom - put some tunes on - started with Spooky Tooth, Santana (Abraxas) and ended with Humble Pie - yeeessh I long for the golden days of the jam bands - ooooooh the wonderful smell of hypo and selenium blackening my lungs - it was a good session - worked in there for a solid 9 hours - got two entire series completed so I am a happy camper - I only have 10 more to go before the project is complete and I can submit for exhibition - you think you are done when you have a body of work - honey it is only just beginning - you need 5 to 10 prints of each set - spot tone - press it - mat it - frame it - crate it ------- I thought it took forever to get a painting done - (well it didn't when I was in school when I could put in 14 hours a day) - but now I can enter more than 1 show with a piece and I couldn't do that before -
this group is all shot, exposed and toned very dark greys to suggest a mood of dark oppression - I am already thinking about my next project will be done in very light greys - like the Pittsburgh mine skies - in Novemember - very somber - ROAD TRIP ANYONE?

I love the darkroom - it's a whole another world - time slows down - the muses almost always show up - we may even have a beer or two - and the music is ALWAYS great!

back in for another stint tomorrow - wish me luck --------

Creative Slump

2006-09-06T07:19:00.000-07:00

Sorry sports fans - Michigan is ranked #10 - common guys!!!! Let's pack some meat into those bones - tired or what?

Creative surges are lacking this week, last week and .......

Seeing my dad so ill has put me in a funk - he was doing so well last year - the vacation was quite a strain - I got a lot of trees cut down for him - I cleaned out a good portion of the pond - and cut 2 new paths - one going directly up the hill to the plum tree - sneaking off quite frequently to pop a little beauty in my mouth - of course there was a bad wind storm while I was there that took them all!!! argh!!!!

Please forgive me for another week until I can get my footings - sorry for the delay - right now I need a little zen ........ or kerouac at least ------

Update

2006-08-31T13:31:00.000-07:00

My new sink works really well

Run In With THE Hooker Scum!!!!!!!

2006-08-13T15:00:00.000-07:00

Manfred just had a HUGE BLOWOUT with F......heads Hooker -
Threatened to call the cops and they both split -
I am sooooo shook up I can hardly stand it - Crack Whore you know - no telling what she is capable of -

I am really worried about my car getting messed up -

It took all I had to restrain Manfred from the fatal blow -- he needs to have his lights punched out - unfortunately the law would be on his side!!!!!!!!

I Think I'm Ready to Talk About Fassbinder...

2006-08-11T08:18:00.000-07:00

Rarely do movies leave you completely devasted for two weeks - there has only been two directors that had that effect on me -

Antonioni with "Il Grido" and Fassbinder - All of his films.

Like I mentioned earlier - the German's have taken the number one position away from the Italians -
The reason for this is (and it will be argued by Manfred) Fellini's greatest movies are: Il Bidone, Lo Sceicco Bianco, ll Vitteloni, La Strada, and La Notte di Cabiria. I prefer his early films because he shows the lower classes of people, gives them great dignity and beauty, portrays their struggles and anguishes with care and as noble characters. With La Dolce Vita and 81/2 I feel that he has already sold out to the upper classes - he glamorizes the very people he despises. These people have nothing interesting about them, their boredom is agonizing to watch. I believe he lost contact with those very people who lives touched him in his early films - he worshipped the empty-headed upper classes in his later films and than became one himself - Manfred and I have had long discussions on these films - I understand his point of view but I do not share it - even though I agree with him in his regard of the protrayal of the artist on some points -

Antonioni became so obsessed with "Pop Culture" I think Zabriske Point is a total flop - Love-Ins - how boring - La Notte, Il Grido, L' Eclisse, L'Aventura are great films - Blow-Up was also pop culture and commercially successful is a great film - I have not seen Il Deserto Rosso, The Passenger is iffy. Antonio still holds the number 3 position.

Fassbinder only made one bomb in my book and that is "Satan's Brew" - he had made more great movies, totally bared his soul in his films (they are all indirectly self-portraits) he took great risks with his films not only psychologically but culturally with his portrayal of the German people who he constantly struggled with after the war - most artists are unable to lay themselves so completely bare for the public to scrutinize - this is why I believe that he had to adopt such a harsh persona - as a cover-up for his delicate, fragile and extremely vulnerable self - he bared his soul for viewing - that is why he is great. He made comparatively more films and he was consistent with his style, development, and characters. Couple this with Fassbinder's own personal tragedies make him my favorite.

Murnau may still be considered to be the greatest - after viewing Faust. Last Laugh, Sunrise and Haunted Castle - I am anxious to see Tartuffe and Tabu.

Fassbinder made so many movies - those I have and have seen are as follows:

Katzelmacher, Merchant of Four Seasons, Ali: Fear Eats the Soul, Marriage of Maria Braun, Effie Brest, Lola, Veronika Voss, In the Year of 13 Moons, Stationmaster's Wife, and Satan's Brew. The next to get on my list are: Fear of Fear, Chinese Roulette, Whity and Love is Colder than Death.

For more information on Fassbinder and his films go to senses of cinema and the fassbinder foundation .

Burn Witch, Burn Witch, Burn...Burn....Burn....

2006-08-04T09:16:00.000-07:00

Ok - so I stole the line from Horror Hotel!

Manfred accused me of CASTING A HEX on him this morning and causing the BATHROOM TO FLOOD -

It all started in 1943 when the sewage lines were laid in Murray Hill - apparently in those days they didn't know what they were doing bla bla bla - and there has been a continual problem with the plumbing in the neighborhood.

Well - you can only place 3 tiny pieces of toilet TISSUE in the toilet before flushing -

OK - so I am ALWAYS plunging - mid-morning, mid-afternoon, early evening, mid-evening, mid-late eveing, late evening, late late evening...........

So Manfred - being the BIG ROCKSTAR he is comments to me a few weeks ago that that "NEVER HAPPENS TO HIM" - "I don't know what YOU are putting in the toilet!!!!"

Alright - so he gets off the toilet this morning while I am getting ready and walks out of the bathroom - uh - HELLO?

I notice that the water is getting higher and higher and higher!!!!!

"HUH - hey you - COME BACK HERE - Don't leave me with that!" -

So I grabbed the plunger and handed it to him - "Get to Work" - I say - "Mister - that NEVER HAPPENS TO ME" ..........

The water went up over the top of the toilet and poured out ALL OVER THE BATHROOM FLOOR - in buckets - you KNOW THE SOUND!!!!!!

Alright - so I was laughing my ass off - rolling on the floor laughing - handing him towel after towel after towel to mop it up before the puppies had water tracked all through the house -

"YOU CAST A HEX ON ME TO CAUSE THAT TOILET TO OVER FLOW!"""""

arf arf arf - I'm still laughing -

another one of those westside ammenities!!!!

It was almost as funny as the time he was making corned beef and cabbage in the pressure cooker and it BLEW UP and landed all over the ceiling - arf arf

but that's another story........

Yipes - Another VCR Bites the Dust!

2006-08-03T07:55:00.000-07:00

I'm pulling out my hair -
I'm clenching my forhead -
I'm pacing the floor -
I've got leg figgets -
My fingernails are chewed to the bone & bleeding -
I'm tossing all night - can't sleep -
I'm irritable and edgy in the morning -
I'm irritable and edgy at night -
I'm irritable and edgy mid-morning -
I'm irritable and edgy at noon -

MY VCR IS OUT OF ORDER!!!!!!!

New Sink

2006-08-02T07:51:00.000-07:00

I am working on a new and improved sink for my darkroom.

I am so excited!

My darkroom has been out of commission for about 4 weeks now and I am going nuts - I need to get back in there and work - I was working up until I couldn't stand it anymore - I was getting soaked on the whole front side - I had 5 towels stuffed in the rebar - and I had to stop - I don't know what caused it to crack - it was working pretty good unitl I resanded and revarnished it (9 coats) and it only lasted for 2 usages before the grain broke down. Manfred said it must have been damp on the inside before I redid it - he's so smart!!!!

Anyway - we cut 2 drain holes this time - when I run my wash bath on the right the water doesn't drain well through 1 hole - so we are going to mount 2 drains and repipe it - I wish I had thought to put 2 sets of faucets in but it's probably too late for that and I don't want a major reconstruction job -

I have it sealed - anyway - and now I just need to varnish - I would really like to get in there this weekend and print but he has to repipe the whole thing so that is out of the question - the energy working in their by safelight is really incredible - I have got a great sound system and xm radio and it is a great creative environment -

Last year when I went to my dads I shot over 50 rolls of film - (120 - 50 & 100 ISO) this year I am going to shoot mainly with 400 & 3200 - I still after 3 years of shooting haven't gotten real great pics of his pond area - there is always way too much sun and too much contrast - this year I am hoping for some dreary overcast days and if I can get up early enough I must just get fog/mist rising off the pond - anyway - that is alot of film to develop/contact print & test print so I better get my sink together quick - wish me luck!

I need some comedy!!!

2006-07-31T05:15:00.000-07:00

ok - ok - enough already -

what i need is some good comedy - but as an uptight-white guy i am not easily amused -
i think back-to-school and caddyshack are the only 2 comedy's i have ever found amusing -

help!!!!

too many heavy german films this last week week has made me gloomy -

any suggestions?

Alright Gunther Get Over It!

2006-07-28T09:28:00.000-07:00

No more watching Fassbinder 2 nights in a row!!!!

Got the Ughs Today

2006-07-26T13:04:00.000-07:00

been working too much on the geometrics for the gunthersgrocery strategies page -----------yipes
think i will make a meat pie for dinner ---------not much going on ----i think i'm depressed today -- don't know why/.....
or maybe i just don't have any GIDDY-YUP in my saddle------------

Partner Panic lll

2006-07-25T09:23:00.000-07:00

Alright- I know Manfred is a BIG ROCKSTAR now but I just ran into him and he has PACHOULI on his collar -

of course he DENIES any knowledge whatsoever - typical GUY response!!!!! (always innocent)

you better watch it Manfred I'm out for Blood -

I 've had more problems with you and YOUR WOMEN -

it better not be THE STRIPPER again!!!!!

Partner Panic ll

2006-07-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

Alright - so it's Saturday morning - I'm sitting on the couch enjoying my 5th cup of coffee -
and my partner gets up - goes into the refrigerator and grabs the gallon of milk - off goes that cap -
and up to his mouth it goes - guzzle guzzle guzzle

"No...No...No..." I hollered - "Don't ever let me see you do that again - I have to drink out of that too!"

"I don't BACK-WASH," he says.........."Oh yeah?"

and then the clincher....

"I'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR YEARS!~"

So I'm like totally freaked out...........!

I mean like - I'm worried about WORMS ..........

On the Road Again

2006-07-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

I am off again on my yearly expedition (flight) to Wisconsin to get some much needed meditation time and some HOME-GROWN veggies. Even a rabbit awaits in the freezer - oh and don't forget his sausages. (mmmmmmm)

The reason I am writing is that I can't believe what I paid for the flight - it was 3 times what I paid last year - same flight!!!!! Grumble - grumble - it is getting really hard to book times - my dad is getting old and has always been afraid to drive to Minneapolis. It's only 45 minutes across the river. He lives out in farm country (map) and only goes to town when necessary. I have to time the flight so I don't arrive or depart around rush hour times, and no evenings or early mornings. I know he would prefer it if I rented a car like my brother does - but my brother goes to see his buddies and basically only sleeps at dads. I go there and stay. A car would cost at least 500$ just to get me to and from the airport. I know it is coming to that - I love my dad dearly but his driving is pretty scarry - he jumps and jerks while driving. Don't misunderstand me - it is a dilemna we all will have to face someday!

I think his driving is a bypass from when he used to teach Biology (he's retired) at the University of Wis. and him and his students would drive the country-side looking for roadkills......they would drive 5 miles an hour and JERK off the road if anyone saw something....my dad was a Parasitologist and inspecting roadkills is where they would find a majority of their worms (tapeworms, flatworms, hookworms, etc) - I grew up with jars and jars of tapeworms. Even an occasional cat in the refrigerator!!!! Anyway - one thing leads to another - I hate my dad getting so jittery on the road but renting a car seems outlandish when I only need it for 45 minutes.

Anyway - I look forward to being in the country again - his woods, pond and meadow are spectacular. and I should get there just in time for muskmellon and raspberries to begin........

A Tribute to Rainer Werner Fassbinder

2006-07-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

Fassbinder : the ultimate director

Ali: Fear Eats the Soul has taken the #2 spot on my list of top movies.
Previously Il Grido (Michaelangelo Antonioni) held that position bumping it now to the #3 position.
Of course La Strada (Fellini) is still #1 but the Italians will be seriously challenged in the coming months by the Germans.

Ali: Fear Eats the Soul was a very important film for Fassbinder. Called by Thomas Elsaesser one of the key works of the New German Cinema, it achieved considerable success internationally and introduced the director to a whole new audience abroad. It was also a very personal film for him, perhaps second only to his 1978 In a Year of 13 Moons, which was made in the wake of his lover Armin Meier’s suicide in Fassbinder’s own apartment. The fact that it speaks so eloquently, yet with such brutal honesty, about persecution and transgressive love must be attributed in large part to its director’s own turbulent and troubled life. And the fact that it has lost none of its power and unique emotional universality after 30 years bespeaks a true masterpiece. (text appropriated see link)

Fassbinder is the master of capturing lonliness to the extreme - there are several times when I cried profusely: when they are dining on their wedding day at Hiltler's favorite spot - (they are alone), when they are sitting in the park tables alone and no one will come near she cries: Meine Mann, Meine Mann (my gott) and when she confronts him after he was out all night (having an affair) at the repair shop and he doesn't stand up to his buddies jabbing about her being his grandmother - very few movies have ever aroused this kind of emotion in me.

Fassbinder's style is very slick - I rarely like slickness. (Goddard).

His ability to frame is equalled with that of Murnau - the color is striking.

Today - I find upon reading that Ali (El Hedi Ben Salem), was Fassbinder's then lover and killed himself in prison due to three counts of murder. This adds to the overall impact of the characters.

In the movie Ali never refers to himself in first person. The movie attacks the politics of German society. "What Fassbinder is stressing here is just how deeply ingrained such attitudes are in the German psyche. Although the political angle in this film is less to the fore than in later melodramas (especially The Marriage of Maria Braun), it is still a work that, as befits one of the most directly and openly political filmmakers of the New German cinema, resonates strongly as a document of the time and place in which it was made." (appropriated text)

A must see - a real tear jerker!

An Evening of Fun and Merrymaking

2006-07-17T05:52:00.000-07:00

Whatever happened to the guy from Iceland? Came from a long line of herring fishermen whose relatives had been among the Viking raiders – and the Slav with the big ears? and the Irish host and hostess who provided the best wine and beer and hospitality in years? and who can forget the Scottish/German guy who kept ‘hogging’ the pool table with his boyish antics? and the pretty redhead who had the guys all flustered ‘cuz she was the better of the pool shooters? and the blonde gal in the corner who kept poking the Slav guy in the ribs with the pool stick? and the old-fashioned gang of merry men ‘looking up to the landlord for encouragement?’ and the peasant waitress selling flowers on the side and dancing for her drinks – and the crap shooters in the corner turning up double-sixes until a brawl broke out –

Yes indeed - It was a grand night to ‘remember’ –

Beyond the Rocks (1922)

2006-07-13T08:34:00.000-07:00

I finally received it – I’ve been waiting for months.

As you all know - I love silent movies – well this little gem was long considered one of the great "lost" films from the Hollywood golden age. Its amazing rediscovery in the Netherlands made headlines around the world. I had my name put on a list and it arrived yesterday……

Beyond the Rocks stars film legends Gloria Swanson and Rudolph Valentino (the only film they ever starred in together) at the height of their careers and sexual appeal. Introduction to the film by Martin Scorsese – "A cause for celebration! A testament to the extraordinary artistry of silent cinema."

Sam Wood (Goodbye Mr. Chips, Pride of the Yankees) directs this delirious melodrama.

It is a lovely/tragic story – beautifully filmed and pure in its intent – there is some damage to the print but the overall quality of the restoration is spectacular…….I understand that many of these morsels that were lost during the war are starting to resurface all over Europe we can only hope their quick recovery…….

Some Thoughts on Gender in the Arts

2006-07-11T07:31:00.000-07:00

The new issue of Lenswork magazine responds to a readers question:

"Why don't we see more women's portfolios in Lenswork?"

The response by the editorial staff is as follows:

Only 10% of the work submitted to Lenswork comes from women - within the last two years only five women have been published. These percentages are surprisingly low. Readership to the magazine runs 80% men, 20% women. Is there a correlation? Should they be concerned with the role of women in the arts? Does it inflence their creative lives in any way? MFA programs are populated by women at the rate of 50%. What is happening to the women?

Again the editorial staff -

"Regardless of gender, the crucial element to having one's work seen is two-fold: do the work, and then get it in front of people who can help you find an audience. One way or another these women got their work in front of us. They stepped up and competed for space and were recognized for their good work and fortitude. Their gender had nothing to do with their acceptance - only the quality of their work and their courage to risk rejection were of importance."

Does Gender Matter?

My response to this question is:

"Not as much as it used to. The difficulty I have is in the subject matter I photograph.
(Let me note here that I am an artist working in photography).
Street photography is not safe for women - there are very few women in the streets. I always have to have a male with me - and we don't even have access to the areas I would really like to shoot.

Secondly, MFA programs do nothing to prepare for the life-after. I've talked to countless women and men for that matter who all end up in the same boat. Working a day job and squeezing art into the weekends. Teaching jobs are ideal but I always ended up as applicant #903 or #855 for a one-year sabbatical replacement.

Thirdly, it's the age-thing. I know the art world. You're more marketable when you're young and beautiful. How many submissions I've seen for women between the ages of 19-28. For women-only. It's fine if you were 'discovered' young and now you're 80 (Agnes Martin) but forget being 65 and 'waiting for discovery' - it ain't happening. Maybe I've read too much feminist literature (Dworkin and Haskell) that has made me bitter - but "it's the truth - isn't it?"

The editor's also state that men are more competetive than women. That they are better able to "toot their own horn!" That they are more "psychologically geared for competition." ( a woman wrote the article)

Competition was never a problem from my end - what I lack is the ability to self-promote - like many artists, I am not a good business person. I tend to be shy and introverted and have difficulty communicating with people and deal with promotion issues from the back-side of things (ie: sending in submissions rather than soliciting). I am not afraid of rejection - I've been turned-down from more shows than I have been accepted in - this is a fact of life. Now, if MFA programs gave you more knowledge on what's really happening on the outside you wouldn't have so many disgruntled graduates. I used to get the feeling that they thought all the students were rich kids that didn't need any help anyway. (I suppose in a way they were right - there were only 2 of us out of 90 grads that had to pay our own way).

I liked the article - but it failed to give me the excitement or uplifting energy I expect to receive from such news -

same o', same o'.......

what I need is a good stiff kick in the britches.....and a "get-going" jab at me - that I am so famous for giving out!!!!

Deutsche Fever

2006-07-07T07:55:00.000-07:00

Germans - with me it's a love/hate relationship.

I grew up in a family of German/Jews from Bavaria - of course they hid the Jewish thing - it wasn't until I was 35 did I discover the truth of my ancestry....bad, bad, bad - well, I guess I have to understand what they went through ....I did know that my grandmother made incredible sausages--------another confilct..........I started out as a menswear designer - my first job out of college - my boss was a HARD-CORE NAZI-TYPE German who had a temper like "The Devil Himself"........I quickly lost my desire to be a fashion designer (unfortunately)!!!!!!

Anyway - before I get lost in details - I love everything German
except the German temper.......
I love German Sausages, German Beer, German Art and German Superstitions.........

Which has led me on a quest to collect the 100 most significant German films. I discovered this list from a Danish website german-cinema.de. Fassbinder and Murnau are my all time favorites. Murnau's films - (the majority were lost during the war). Bits and pieces are starting to resurface. Haunted Castle is one of those. His technique is very interesting - he almost never moves the camera. He captures an empty room for several frames before the body enters - is creates a very heavy mood of oppression - another emotion that I love........HEAVY OPPRESSIVE FILMS.......HEAVY OPPRESSIVE MUSIC....... ..........

The first two on my list to get are Faust by Murnau (1925) and Katzelmacher by Fassbinder (1969)

Now all I need is to find a place that makes great sausages and serves beer.

Drive-In Madness

2006-07-06T03:47:00.000-07:00

I have been getting rather nostalgic recently for old drive-in B-movies.
I spent alot of time in high school with my buddies at them.
So - to cure my longing I have started collecting B-movies from the '60's. (Barbara Steele esp.) prefer Italian & German.

I love them - they are so campy. And you know very few fall in the "painful to watch" category.

Last night we watched "Cave of the Living Dead" a German film (1964) - had I not owned the Hammer classic "Kiss of the Vampire" I would have thought it quite original - Hammer obviously was "inspired" by this film.

Here is the scoop -

"A mad scientist and his bevy of vampires terrorize a German village. A detective and a witch set out to stop them".
"The police cannot solve the mystery of seven murders, which have alarmed the inhabitants of a small village. They call in Inspector Doren of Interpol (Adrian Hoven), but the only clue the town's chief constable can give his young famous colleague is the fact that each time a murder was committed, the electric lights in the whole neighborhood went out.

The villagers believe that the murders of the young girls are linked to the vague shadows in the caves under the local castle. They distrust the inspector and offer no assistance when still another murder takes place in the village inn - in the room next to that of the detective - and the body disappears!..........

I thought the filming was great - especially the castle and cave sets - my only problem with the film was when the young girl was attacked by the vampire her shirt was pulled open revealing her black bustier and she ran around the rest of the film with her shirt open??????? ok - I realize it's a drive-in and the guys need a little stimulation to get going but it was distracting and from than on it became the focal point of the movie...........

It was originally a 1964 West German-Yugoslav production called Der Fluch der Grunen Angen ("The Curse of the Green Eyes") (Cave of the Living Dead) was retitled and redubbed and released in the U.S. several years later as part of a double-bill with "Tomb of Torture".

A very enjoyable film and no nightmares this time!

THE VULTURE HAS NESTED

2006-07-02T10:31:00.000-07:00

THE PHOTO YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR:

It has been very difficult getting this shot.

He has been "PERCHED" up there for 3 weeks.

Ever since we cut the lime tree down.

As you can see the "MASTER MIND" is sitting in his chair and hiding behind his (well thingy - peeking).

It really isn't a well. (just an excuse to window peek)

He is looking right into our window...as I take this shot.

He goes up there at 7:37am and comes down about 6:45pm........one of those Westside amenities I was talking about.

Would someone tell me what the CHAINS and the dog dish are for?

Oh, Yeah - So About The Bikes

2006-06-29T14:57:00.000-07:00

Gosh, it goes back to after we first moved in (almost 7 years ago) - let me refresh my memory.

That was back in the day when he was spending all of his evenings at the strip joints.

He has since than been kicked out of EVERY strip club in town ...nobody gets kicked out from THOOOOOOSE places..

He was stalking them...remember the Murray Hill Stalker? (that's him).

We were still talking in those days over the back fence.

He told me his "GIRLFRIEND" needed transportation.

So - he got 2 bikes (identical) (1 for him/1 for her) - purple - (probably stole them).....

I could just picture the two of them riding down the street side-by-side.

Lovely couple.

Ok - she was barely 19 and he's like 79 and creepy.

Several weeks later she was standing in his backyard and he was trying to give her "the volks".........guess she refused to ride side-by-side...... imagine

Now, if you know anything about "that volks" - it barely ran - it smoked - it was louder than love - and it STUNK..

He had holes drilled all over the back exhaust to keep his engine cool...The holes were all carefully gridded and formed a unique pattern. (remind you he is a master mind - it was extremely clever of him to do this)...

The back seats were ripped out - and we have later learned why (telescope on his knees - mobile) but that's another story.

Apparently she didn't want the piece-o-shit so he gave her the Bronco - which was another p.o.s - he paid $500 for.......I think she was trying to talk him into buying her a NEW car!!!!!! During that time she test drove a honda but didn't get it...

Hey - this is a depression era dude!!!!!! he knows the value of a 5$ b.j.

So as the story goes - right after Thanksgiving a giant flat-bed tow-truck pulls up in front of his house with the Bronco on top.......the girl AND HER YOUNG PIMP were in the tow-truck!!!!!!!!!!!

This is not something he would have wanted the neighborhood to see.... - especially us.
(We had become mortal enemies by this time)

The BRONCO ON A FLAT-BED

AND HE HAD TO PAY FOR THE TOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was rolling on the floor with laughter - see it pays to peer........maybe we do need new windows!!

It turns out she had gotten the Bronco FOR her boyfriend unbeknownst to F...Head (his nickname).

Too bad it wasn't a NEW car.

NEVERLESS - THAT WAS THE FIRST ONE TO BITE THE DUST (see prev. entry)

He kept his bike and threw hers out......maybe this explains all the stolen bikes to come in the future.(another story)

Dilemma of the Day

2006-06-29T06:39:00.000-07:00

Window Replacement

Now, I've always been a pretty irresponsible person and at my age the likely-hood of changing is pretty slim.

But, the windows need to be replaced...well, according the my partner's mother.

Ok, they will save us on electricity.

That sounds logical....

Hey, Man.......I need more gratification than that for that kind of cash$$$$$.......and I already peer from the windows too much as it is and it would be really creepy if it got any worse.

So--- (she says)---- it will increase the value of the house - but sweetheart - it's the Westside - and It's not a hotspot......
unless you're a hitch hooker!!!!!! and the prices of frankfurters is going up$$$$$$$

We've been chasing our tails for several years and they're sending their man over tomorrow...

Help.........................................................

"What - No Flushing?"

2006-06-28T07:39:00.001-07:00

So - after a very TRYING day yesterday -

I was hunkered down with my doggies to watch one of my favorite movies for the 451st time. It was 8:54.

Of course me and the puppies were waiting and waiting .......waiting for Dave......waiting for Dave....waiting AND WAITING......and waiting....waiting....waiting.....waiting......waiting......

All of a sudden I heard the most VILE cursing coming from the bathroom
....and more cursing...and more cursing...

"Honey (ha!) what is going on?"......more cursing.......

"HONEY WHAT IS GOING ON IN THERE?"....

"LEAVE ME ALONE" - he cursed somemore.....and kept on cursing......and cursing...cursing

"I ought to know what is happening"......waiting and waiting and waiting........

Than I heard a loud SPLASH!!!! - the cursing got LOUDER

"HONEY, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THERE?"........

"It's the toilet - it won't flush - the "o" ring is broken - you want to be able to flush in the morning don't you? - I can just hear you - bla bla bla bla bla."

"I've got to go to Lowe's and get an "o" ring"

"It's 8:54 - you won't make it - you don't have your pants on."

"I'll make it!"

Slam

He made it , the toilet made it and so did Charles Laughton!!!!!

Partner Panic

2006-06-23T07:15:00.000-07:00

I have been absoluetley devastated this week -

I just found out something that completely shatters my whole image of my partner
who I've been living with for 11 years.

HE IS AN ABBA FAN!!!!

This is what I get for living in SIN!

I think I will join the Tubes fan club - that would be the Tubes of 1978 - I'll never forget the picketeers!!!!
They've changed - DRAT - wildest concert I've ever seen.

Giving Up Red Meat

2006-06-05T07:29:00.000-07:00

No more bloody meat for me - no more drizzle on the chin - no more good mutton (Charles Laughton)!!!!

I had a horrible nightmare last night - VIVISECTION - my god!!!!!

My poor partner was terrified.....have (Dave demonstrate groaning technique)

It could be the Barbara Steele marathon too but I doubt it......unfortunately I will have to eat beans for every meal ---- well - I guess it's a way to keep unwanted relatives away!!!!

Another One Bites the Dust

2006-05-23T09:25:00.001-07:00

I was sittting on the front porch reading five weeks ago Friday around 11am when I saw his hooker roar past in her loud-ass black honda.

Gathered up my things and went into the front room and layed on the bed with my dogs..

Can't stomach seeing these YOUNG "PIECES-OF-CHICKEN" with him.

I was day-dreaming like usual about the old days in the middle ages, when I was startled by loud yelling voices.

Of course I knew where it was coming from...

Ha ha ha..... tried to pull a fast one you bloody f.......!

FOILED AGAIN...

Two-for-one specials don't usually work with hookers....
remember that!

There was an old guy (another slick pervert he met at dunkin' donuts or denny's) in a blue car in the driveway behind her. Great timing!!!!!!

I was on the bed laughing so hard I knocked the dog off - the yelling continued - "games up" - I chirped -

The scene was hysterical - between him - the hooker - and the old guy (dumbfounded)

(Have Dave demonstrate yelling technique})

He showed up right in the middle of a chess game - bishop out!!!

F....Head apparently had impressed his friend with his braggadoccio and made some promises that "dear, I can tell you just won't fly with this fried chicken wing."

She squeeled out of the driveway and has not returned yet (Friday is her day)...

However, (there's hope on the horizon)

F....Head and the old guy now meet every Tues. and Thurs. 11am for a circle jerk......

Which brings to mind a few stories of "the hookers of the past" -

It all started . . .

When he purchased a set of matching HIS-AND-HERS bicycles.

Perched Chimney Vulture

2006-05-21T06:56:00.000-07:00

I've seen it all now!!!

Totally f.....ed this weeked - hah asshole!!!

F....head thinks he has a claim on Saturday's or sumpin' -

Saturday is his big day - starts at 6:45 am - he's out in his yard waiting for women to happen -

Every Saturday for 6 years -
(he knows all the neighborhood women are out -
plus the local hookers stroll the streets on Saturday's)

WELL - NOT THIS SATURDAY----ha ha ha ha ha

This Saturday Dave (my partner) rented a powerwasher!!!

So get this - he can't see in our backyard anymore because
we put up a double fence -
so every time he wants to know what's going on over here
he climbs up on his roof - usually his shed..

TODAY -

He tied a rope to the chimney and climbed up the front of his house and is perched up there on his roof like a frickin' VULTURE...

We tried to get a picture to show the gang - oh darn----

(Have Dave demonstrate perching technique!!!!!)

Anyway - he is sooooo pissed he lost his PRIME day -
he squeeled out of his driveway - pulled back in and
attempted to hide his car - like what we do is so important to him!!!! -
I am soo sick of this guy (dogshit)

This is one game he loves to play -

THE - I'M NOT REALLY HOME GAME - tomorrow's Monday -
it will be the GARBAGE GAME - followed by the
I"M STANDING IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE STARING IN YOUR WINDOW'S GAME -
followed by the -
I"M ON THE SIDE OF HOUSE FOR 7 HOURS EVERYDAY FOR 6 MONTHS GAME -
totally predictable wait and see.

Pervert Alert

2006-05-11T09:27:00.000-07:00

"You're living next door to a sexed-up old man!"

He was in the process of boarding up his windows -
with tiny little peepholes cut in the middle of each slab.

"The doctor put me on viagra for my heart"
(that was bullshit - he got it off the internet)

Lesson 1 - Perverts and viagra DON'T MIX

Welcome to the neighborhood! -
that was our first encounter - too bad it wasn't the last!

His latest trick is that he has figured out that he can hear us talk in the kitchen through the exhaust pipe that is cut into the outside wall between the properties. He has been hanging out for 6-7 hrs a day on the side of the house. He has been there for 2 weeks. I suspect he will be there for 6 months.

"Been livin' here since 1943 (good god!) - I'm a master mind ya know!"

He is. (a megalomaniac/sociopath)

He calculates everything - that is everything the women in the neighborhood do. He knows the time tables of all of us. Everyday. We've lost all of our neighbors. One-by-one they have all moved. Because of him. We're the last one's left and we've only been there for 6 yrs. It was the telescopes that did most of them in. (I will go into detail later with that one.)

The Murray Hill Stalker - since 1943! (good god).

Architecture of Masculinity

2006-05-11T06:18:00.000-07:00

Pt 1 of 6 Pts

So Functional for its Purposes: Rock Hudson’s Bachelor Apartment in Pillow Talk
Steve Cohan

Perhaps the most memorable feature of Pillow Talk (1959; dir. Michael Gordon) is the way the film situates the sexuality of its male lead, bachelor songwriter Brad Allen (Rock Hudson), against the theatrical backdrop of his apartment, a fantasy playpen where domestic technology serves a single purpose-seduction. Flip a switch and the front door locks, the light goes out, and a record starts to play mood music. Flip a second switch and the sleeper sofa opens out into a double bed made with baby blue sheets.

When career girl Jan Morrow (Doris Day), the unmarried interior decorator whom Brad ultimately marries, reluctantly agrees to accept the job of redecorating his bachelor pad, she asks, "Why redecorate? It’s so functional for your purposes." While Jan’s sarcastic remark equates the bachelor pad unequivocally with a den of seduction, the bachelor pad, an architectural type prominently featured in the popular media during the 1950’s and 1960’s, functions as more than just the spider web (as Jan refers to it) where male traps unsuspecting female.

In the following reading of the bachelor pad as it was represented on the pages of Playboy magazine and in the film Pillow Talk, I will demonstrate how this multi-coded space represented the culture’s deepest anxieties about the stability, coherence, and normality of American maleness, underscoring the homophobia that structured the cultural meaning of "masculinity" as the opposite of "femininity." 1

Jan’s stinging comment about the functionality of Brad’s playboy residence makes one wonder just what his purposes are, and the answer is not the obvious one. The bachelor pad operated as a site of consumerism; it marked the single man’s marginal position in relation to the domestic ideology of the period, while at the same time allowing for his recuperation as a consumer whose masculinity could be redeemed-even glamorized-by the things he bought to accessorize his virility. More importantly, the elaborate technology of Brad’s apartment does more than simply lure women into his bed; it reinforces the film’s grounding of the playboy’s sexuality in masquerade by providing an arena for his self-conscious performance of heterosexual masculinity.

The plot of Pillow Talk theatricalizes the characteristics of straight masculinity most effectively through Brad’s impersonation of Rex Stetson, a wealthy Texan whose identity Brad assumes to prevent Jan from discovering his real identity as the playboy with whom she shares a party line. Brad and Jan repeatedly clash on the telephone over his dominance of their party line; he uses the telephone morning and night to serenade women, preventing her from making or receiving business calls. But the two antagonists are connected by more than the telephone company’s failure to upgrade its technology.

Jan, it turns out, is being relentlessly but unsuccessfully wooed by Brad’s best friend and client, Jonathon Forbes (Tony Randall). Eventually, Brad meets the woman at the other end of his party line and instantly decides to make a play for her, masquerading as Rex Stetson to prevent from discovering his real identity as her nemesis on the telephone.

This career girl had everything but love.
This bachelor had nothing else but.
They had absolutely nothing in common except a party line.
They believed passionately in the motto, "hate thy neighbor."
Then he met the body that went with the voice he hated.
What would you do?
That’s what he did . . . Pretend he was two other guys.
And then the wooing got frantic. 2

The opening voiceover narration of the theatrical trailer for Pillow Talk unwittingly discloses the films subtext; it is imprecise as a summary of its plot because it refers to two masquerades on the part of the bachelor ("That’s what he did . . . Pretend he was two other guys."). This slip (the correct phrasing should be, "two different guys") suggest, however unintentionally, that both Brad and Rex are pretenses, thereby underscoring the notion that straight masculinity has no origin outside gender masquerade, no reference outside of its multiple representations.

The trailer alludes to the carefully cultivated heterosexuality of Rock Hudson’s star persona, acknowledging, if only accidentally, that Hudson, the homosexual star pretending to be two ‘straight" guys in this film, also depends upon an elaborate and doubled pretense of his heterosexuality in order to project masculinity on screen. As my analysis of Pillow Talk will show, an architectural setting collaborates to sustain the riven masculinity anchored by Hudson’s star persona. Brad Allen’s bachelor pad serves, in short, as a space in which the playboy performs his heterosexual masculinity.

1 See Barbara Ehrenreich, The Hearts of Men: American Dreams and the Flight from Commitment (NewYork: Doubleday, 1983), p.20. Ehrenreich’s account emphasizes the role that homosexuality played in designating gender disorder: the male who did not conform to the breadwinner ethic "was either not fully adult or not fully masculine"-and hence, the logic went, immature, mother-fixated, and homosexual.

2 All quotations from the trailer and the film itself in this essay are transcriptions of the soundtrack of the MCA laser disc recording of Pillow Talk.

Pt ll – Playboy’s Bachelor Apartment – to continue